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Current mood:	=D
Entry tags:	[merlin], to-do

All the pretty ones are idiots (Merlin/Arthur, PG-13)
Title: All the pretty ones are idiots
Author: lilian_cho
Fandom/Pairing/Prompt: BBC Merlin / Merlin/Arthur / cranky
Disclaimer: This story is based on a TV series based on a mythology created and owned by BBC, etc. No magic spells were cast during the making of this fic.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: It was meant to be a drabble/vignette. But plot sneaked in. So this is only the first part, sorry X_x;;
Word count: 783 words so far


***

"When you're done giggling like a barmaid being molested, I want you to polish my armour, sharpen my sword, fix the dent on my shield and brush down my horse. Got it?"

Merlin gaped openly at the prince. "Did something crawl up your arse and die? Sire."

Arthur glared. "And muck out the stables while you're at it." With that, he turned around and stomped back to the castle.

So, Merlin thought to himself, definitely upset about something then.

His thoughts were interrupted by a wistful sigh to his side. "Is he always this...masterful?"

"Hhm?" Merlin turned to look at the young man next to him.

"Prince Arthur. He has such a presence—such gravitas." This last was said with the ferventness of a zealot.

Merlin looked at the new servant critically. He has warm honey blond curls and limpid blue eyes. Too bad all the pretty ones are idiots.

"Arthur? He's rather lordly, I suppose."

The new servant—Tobey? Todd?—choked. "You call the Crown Prince by his given name?"

"Listen, Tobey. He might be Crown Prince, sole heir to the throne, the finest knight Camelot has ever seen and all that, but deep down he is just a royal prat."

Tobey didn't seem to hear him at all. "I wish I can be near him at all times! Oh Merlin, you're so lucky to be Prince Arthur's manservant!"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Right. And now this lucky manservant needs to go and muck out the stables."

He left Tobey to his own lovesick musings, inwardly cursing blond idiots who treat his manservant like a laundrywoman, a stable hand, a serving maid and a squire all rolled into one.

***

After brushing the coat of Arthur's horse and mucking out the stables (with the tiniest, judicious application of magic), Merlin carried Arthur's armour, sword and shield back to the castle.

On his way to Arthur's chambers, he ran into Gwen with her basket of linens.

"…and then he told me to muck out the stables while I'm at it. That's the second time I have to do it this week! Arthur is such a prat, I don't understand how anyone can stand it," Merlin sulked.

Gwen, bless her, made the appropriate commiserating noises.

"And after all that, I had to endure Tobey sighing about how handsome Arthur is and how lucky I am to be breathing the same air—"

"Who's Tobey?" Gwen interrupted.

"This new servant," Merlin waved it away. "If you ask me he may be pretty but he's not all there."

Gwen gave him a considering look. "So, you were talking to this...pretty Tobey when Prince Arthur suddenly came over."

Merlin snorted. "Stormed over, more like. It's so strange for him to be so strung up; beating up the knights usually put him in a good mood."

"Yes, that's true," Gwen said.

The tone of her voice made Merlin look at her inquisitively, but she just smiled. "Well, I better get these to my lady's chambers," she said.

Moving the basket to her hip, she hesitated. "Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"If you want my advice—not that I think you're doing anything wrong or stupid, of course you’re not stupid that’s not what I meant—but if you do, you should probably avoid Tobey while Prince Arthur is around."

Bemused, Merlin smiled amiably at her and went on his way. Juggling his load, he avoided dropping Arthur’s sword on his feet with an impressive feat of balancing (and some teensy magical help).

***

"What took you so long?" Arthur snapped the moment Merlin entered his room.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Oh, I had to disillusion yet another servant who found himself enthralled by your awe-inspiring masterfulness."

"Whatever, Merlin. Your jokes are not as witty as you thought them to be."

Sometimes, Arthur can be so clueless. If he weren't the crown prince, Merlin would be afraid of people taking advantage of his cluelessness.

"Shall I polish your sword now, Sire? Or do you feel the urge to send me on yet another pointless errand? Perhaps you feel like indulging in a warm bowl of pumpkin soup?" he asked, knowing full well that Arthur hated pumpkin in any shape or form.

The corner of Arthur's mouth quirked involuntarily. "Being solicitous doesn't suit you, Merlin. But now that you mention it, I would like some bread and stew."

"As my lord wishes," Merlin dumped his load on the table.

"And bring me some of that new wine," Arthur called out to him.

"Should I ask Gaius to prepare some of his hangover cure?" Merlin asked cheekily.

Arthur scoffed. "Merlin, the day I get drunk from weak wine, I would lick your boots clean."

***

Tbc~